Aug. 21st, 2014 10:26 pm
badgerbag: (Default)
[personal profile] badgerbag
Forgot to say that the whale watching was great. I was not seasick at all. I stood up a lot and felt quite at home!!!!

Many expeditions

Aug. 21st, 2014 06:52 pm
badgerbag: (Default)
[personal profile] badgerbag
Today I weighed up what I had to do and considered: no kids to care/shop/cook etc. for till the weekend, no meetings past 10am, work stress pretty low right now. It was sunny even in the early morning. This is what I have been waiting for all summer to go to the beach or basically, anywhere at all that isn't my usual haunts. I would like to use my bit of extra energy not to clean the house, do laundry, or shop or even go do physical therapy or go to the pain clinic. It is time for a Very Mild Adventure!

I plotted a little and then took the J and N to the beach, worked and had lunch from a cafe. The train wasn't too bad, though it took an hour. Lunch at Beachside (food not as nice as it looked, no wireless, but outside tables) Then worked from the Java hut or whatever it is, and then once it got really sunny scooted across the Great Highway and went up to where there is a sidewalk (opposite the windmill at the corner of Golden Gate Park).

I walked a little way into the sand next to some sand dunes thinking maybe i could establish myself in some way looking at the ocean.

Sand is good for challenging all your small different muscles in your ankles and knees. Like with the whale watching, I could feel things happening in my ankles that were exciting but scary. Either I'm re-damaging them in horrible ways, or I'm breaking adhesions or scar tissue in there deep down. I can move my ankles better in the last couple of weeks, bending them further up. and have been icing them at least twice a day (often all night)

I could not get very far into the sand and the beach is very huge. I thought how I am lucky to get to do this and felt congratulatory for at least getting to the beach twice this summer at all (once with the kids to Aquatic Park which is super easy access and narrow) and glad that I picked a good day that was sunny and warm. Then suddenly felt sad like I could not bear the pollyannaish being glad thing. It is true I am lucky and can feel appreciative and yet I also have the horrible thought every time I do something that maybe this is the best it gets and I will never get any further onto a beach, or with walking, or whatever, and everything will get more difficult. Still, whatever, right, because I am also lucky enough to cope well with it and have a ton of support, skills, privilege, job, etc. to make things extremely pleasant and easy. And, a month ago I could not have done this as I was still too exhausted and weak from not being able to eat/gastritis/esophagus or whatever it is. Fuck, 2 weeks ago I was also getting over a cold and was hapy just to be carted along on yatima's errand. (which was great... and took us to the presidio and beach side both... but i was decrepit.) So obviously I felt happy to be able to have an independent outing and my usual pride in being bad ass enough to go across town in my tiny scooter. Take that, FEAR. I felt in planning it that I was brave enough to do it because the scooter will fit into a car and I could call a taxi which woudl actually come get me, if I got so tired that taking two trains back was daunting or if I hurt myself by accident.

BUT I thought, well here I am alone at the beach in a desolate spot. No one is looking. Perhaps I could just have a brief cry about it all. I felt some grief and loss. I wished i could have been at the beach on the east coast where my family was a few weeks ago, and there would be beach roses instead of eternal west coast ice plant/sea fig. Everything would smell "right" and would be lovely though sad in other ways. Mostly I just wished I could climb around and run around in the sand and go down to the water and feel more free to explore as I very much like to do. I cried a bit for when we were at bean hollow last week with my dad and I couldn't go look at the tide pools with moomin though I really wanted to. At least he did what i told him and went without me and had a good long look at them on his own. OK. So I cried on the beach for 10 minutes and felt very self indulgent. I wished I could just be in a sad mood for the rest of the day. I thought how nice it would be to have a strong drink or be on the super duper drugs they shoot into my veins when I get my back injections. (I think some combo of valium and other things) Then I felt better and went back to the cafe and worked some more and got a VERY crowded train home.

I am still kind of weepy to be honest.

I plotted future trips and thought it would be nice to go out again but allow much more time, and go all the way up to cliff house and the nature center/overlook/gift shop/coffee bar just above Sutro baths. Or even further and scooter all along the walkways around the point whatever that is called which I haven't been on for years.

It was a tantalizing but not really satisfying beach trip.

I'd like to go to Moss Landing but have a magic dune buggy to go out along the beach and also be able to kayak through the slough there without hurting the hell out of my hands. Not sure if I could really do it anymore. Maybe in a tandem kayak. An could it be an invisible dune buggy so I could chill the fuck out and get in and out of my wheelchair without 800 people staring at me and stuff.

I talked a good long while with a guy whose mom had a stroke and has a jazzy, at the train platform behind the safeway. he was very nice and we discussed the intricacies of scootering. She needs a joystick controller really and more stabilty than a travelscoot but there could still be smaller powerchairs (she is small) that fold up. Also, an off duty muni driver at the java hut talked with me a while about his wife who has MS and another kind of large scooter that she has trouble fitting anywhere. She would like something more portable but insurance will not pay. She could handle or nearly handle something like my scooter. I got him to drive it around a little bit to try it out. Also, I talked with many, many other people from kids to surfers to random slightly limping older ladies who all liked the scooter and thought it looked cool and wished they had one to play with or get around better on. I should keep count. I always have slightly ambiguous grumpy feelings about the people who seem to approve of me extra because I take up less space and "look cool". Thanks but how about if I didn't, would you just hate on me or what. I try to take it as best as possible and I also utterly don't mind children who are like HOLY SHIT I MUST DRIVE THIS FUN TINY MOTOR TRICYCLE THING while their parents are scared I will be angry. Hahahhaa.

Day of Feelings!
cesperanza: (bucky and new steve)
[personal profile] cesperanza
Title: Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes (14371 words)
Author: Speranza
Fandom: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: Natasha Romanov
Additional Tags: Action/Adventure, Angst, Mission Fic, Soldier Boys, burn it to the ground, The End of the Line, also a haybarn, Angst with a Happy Ending

Steve dropped to his knees outside the shower door and braced his hands on his thighs: not even sure how to start. "Bucky," he began--but even this proved to be too much, and something that had been open slammed shut on Bucky's face.

"I'm not ready for that," he said flatly, turning his head away.

"I--okay." Steve felt even further knocked off his axis. He looked at--Bucky? The Winter Soldier? James?--and didn't know what to say. And then he did: "Tell me more about this mission, Sergeant Barnes," he said.

Sort of a modern day WWII type action-adventure story. Angst queens: feel free to bail at the end of chapter one. Everyone else: on to the haybarn! :D

In Memoriam

Aug. 19th, 2014 11:22 pm
onyxlynx: Some trees and a fountain at a cemetery (A Fine and Private Place)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
Don Pardo, announcer.

(He also announced parts of KFOG's "10 @ 10" until Dave Morey retired, and his voice still punctuates "the long version" of some songs.)

Peter Sokolowski

Aug. 19th, 2014 10:53 pm
boxofdelights: (Default)
[personal profile] boxofdelights
This evening I went to hear Peter Sokolowski talk at the library:
Join us at Old Town Library from 7:00-8:00pm on August 19th for one part sociology, one part word nerdery. Peter Sokolowski, Editor at Large at Merriam-Webster, will present "The Dictionary as Data: What the Online Dictionary Tells Us About English". He'll discuss how dictionary use changes over time, and how it reflects the politics and culture of the world around us.

He's a delight to listen to. He talks really fast, which is useful, because he has a lot to say. He gave brief highlights of dictionary history, and talked about his job, and why the M-W Collegiate Dictionary is free online, and why the M-W Unabridged is no longer printed (it's too big.) Mostly he talked about interesting things he learns from monitoring which words are most frequently looked-up: http://www.merriam-webster.com/popular-words/index.htm
He can tell when people are watching Bill O'Reilly. He can tell when people are playing Scrabble. He showed us graphs of how particular words' look-ups jumped immediately after particular events. Immediately after 9/11, the most frequent words were "rubble" and "triage". Later, they were "jingoism" and "terrorism". A few days later, they were "surreal" and "succumb". He said that a tragedy always causes a jump in "surreal".

That part ended at 7:30 on the dot. Then he started taking questions: more dictionary history, more about his day-to-day job, what it means to be a radical descriptivist. That stretched fifteen minutes past the hour, even though he talks really fast. He reminded me of [livejournal.com profile] randomdreams in that I got the feeling I could literally ask him anything, and he would have something fascinating to say about it.

I don't know how often he does things like this: he's on vacation, and one of our librarians is an old friend of his from college. But if you like word nerdery, and you get the chance to listen to him, take it!


Aug. 19th, 2014 07:12 pm
lavendertook: children's illus-style woman in yellow sari (huh)
[personal profile] lavendertook
I'm so glad to be living in post-racial America where only 33% of whites think the police in Ferguson went too far. Too much change for the better too soon would be a little much to handle . . .

I wish I were surprised, instead of just disgusted.


Aug. 19th, 2014 05:36 pm
ide_cyan: Dalbello peering into a screen (Default)
[personal profile] ide_cyan
Had my toughest exam at school yet today, though it was not on the subject of the badly-translated documents we'd been told would be a part of it; that was just the teacher's tactic to make sure everyone did the reading. There was no written test at all: it was another completely practical exam. I was still worried about that, mostly because I was worried I would run out of time. As it was, I finished my exam last among this morning's group, but with about 20 minutes left (out of three hours), and I did pass. Whew.

Big upside of practical exams: you know right away whether you've passed. I wasn't as neat as I wished I could have, because I drilled one hole a bit out of alignment and had to scramble with a metal file to enlarge it, but all my practice with the jigsaw meant I didn't have too much filing to do elsewhere, which saved me a good amount of time.

The class is split in two groups for practical exams, half in the morning & half in the afternoon. Gives everyone a bit more breathing room around the power tools and the sometimes-tiny mechanical components.

Using a bunch of different screwdrivers IRL to assemble stuff makes me really appreciate the wish-fulfillment value of a sonic screwdriver. Not having to root around for the one with the right size or tip shape! Though I imagine it'd be almost as annoying to have to constantly change the setting — but then, that's be less of an issue if it wasn't also a damn magic wand/tricorder....

Mork's Mixed Emotions

Aug. 19th, 2014 01:09 pm
gwynnega: (coffee poisoninjest)
[personal profile] gwynnega
Last weekend I got sucked into watching a late-night Mork and Mindy marathon on cable. I remembered some of the episodes they showed (notably the one where Mork tries to convince Mindy to marry him with a frenetic song-and-dance routine), but I wasn't clear whether I'd ever seen some of the others. I remember being a huge fan of the show's first season (I was thirteen), but I may have tuned out for awhile and tuned back in for the final season (in which Mork and Mindy get married, and Mork gives birth to Jonathan Winters (!)).

Yesterday I did some poking around the Internet and discovered this episode, which I'm pretty sure is my favorite of the whole series. I was surprised how thoroughly I remembered it, considering it aired in 1979 and I hadn't seen it since. My guess is that I'd taped it on my dad's VCR and watched it a bunch of times. The episode mines the trope of the unemotional space alien and what happens when his suppressed emotions boil to the surface. There couldn't have been a more perfect premise for Robin Williams' improvisatory talents. (The voice of Mork's fear sounds just like Peter Lorre.)

In some ways Mork and Mindy hasn't aged particularly well; it can be dated and corny (and the job of most of the supporting cast was, simply, to keep a straight face). But Williams' performance cuts through all that.

cesperanza: (Default)
[personal profile] cesperanza
So all things considered, I am not so bad - part of having such a total clusterfuck mess going on in my family life (now adding "orchestrating a move" to the saga of sick parents, small children, and overdue deadlines that is my life) - is that actually, at some point I just snap and go, OKAY ENOUGH STRESS NOW KTHANX and start writing fic, because I have USED UP ALL MY CAN FOR TODAY. So you know--I have another story in beta, three others in progress behind. :D

Oh, Summer of 2014. How I will not forget you. Also thank you Steve and Bucky for just being there, with your super hot genes and endless interpretability. I luv you, signed Cesperanza.

Anyway for LJ/DW peeps who might have missed this on Tumblr--Lim vidded the Tony Stark of my heart! Like, literally of my heart, I have proof, I wrote him in What We Asked For From Each Other. The build on this vid SLAYS me, SLAYS, not to mention the title, which--oh, Tony. Expo is right.

Anyway, enjoy! - and reblog here or - I don't think its up on AO3 yet to comment (she's fighting a YouTube takedown, cause idiots!!)


Aug. 16th, 2014 04:18 am
maevele: stencilled image of a woman with text saying "if you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission." (greatness)
[personal profile] maevele
so i got all moved out of the place and am at my friend's house again for a few months, it seems. It was a hell of a couple days getting the move done and having the kid's birthday party, but i did it. fuck yeah, me.

also, I am officially leaving for a week at the rainbow gathering with my kid and some friends tomorrow morning. SO FUCKING EXCITED, I haven't been to one in literally 20 years. and I've never been to a gathering when I was this well prepared, but i am not taking a kid into the woods and expecting a bunch of hippies to provide. so there is a duffle full of mac and cheese and granola bars.
It just seems like the middle of a life change like moving and reconsidering my life path is a damn good time to go back to the woods, as part of the culture that was part of the happiest time of my life.
I expect I might come back as a new person.
lotesse: (Default)
[personal profile] lotesse
Well, my car is packed, I'm ready to go. No major disasters of any kind, and I'll have many hands to help unpack me into my new digs tomorrow. Not looking forward to the long drive with animals, but so very much looking forward to the moment when I'mma get to dive in the lake and feel it on my face and smell it all around me. And, for once, it's not going to be a temporary reunion. Lived landlocked away from my big water these ten years, but no more. Gonna be able to swim out again.

lynch law

Aug. 14th, 2014 12:52 am
lotesse: (freedom)
[personal profile] lotesse
I am sick with horror at events in Ferguson, Missouri, because once again white pride has trumped the right of black children to exist. I am sick with terror at events in Ferguson, Missouri, because this is the creep of violent fascism in action, and we should fucking all be afraid.

And I feel sick with grief, too. That poor beautiful little boy.

Birthday greetings and felicitations!

Aug. 13th, 2014 07:21 am
onyxlynx: Festive pennants in blue & purple with word "Birthday" centered. (Birthday)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
 to [personal profile] n6tqs  and [personal profile] daydream ; have a simply marvelous day!

Hippo Birdie Two Ewes

Aug. 12th, 2014 05:41 pm
onyxlynx: Festive pennants in blue & purple with word "Birthday" centered. (Birthday)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
[personal profile] cynthia1960 !  May your day have been nice.

My 234rd icon

Aug. 12th, 2014 07:39 pm
ithiliana: Hummingbird sitting on a leaf (Hummingbird)
[personal profile] ithiliana
I can remember when I went for some months with the first two or three gifted to me by friends.

Then...it all changed.

Lots of memories there....might revist some of them.

This one is just because it's so lovely to see a hummingbird at rest, and she looks SO comfy.

Requiescat in Pace

Aug. 12th, 2014 05:33 pm
onyxlynx: Some trees and a fountain at a cemetery (A Fine and Private Place)
[personal profile] onyxlynx
Lauren Bacall, actress and legend.

Cherry Bomb

Aug. 12th, 2014 08:08 pm
ide_cyan: Dalbello peering into a screen (Default)
[personal profile] ide_cyan
Is the title of a song by The Runaways, nobably currently featured on the soundtrack for Guardians of the Galaxy.

It's also the name of the Lea Thompson's character's Runaways-evoking band in the movie Howard the Duck.

(no subject)

Aug. 12th, 2014 02:01 pm
sanguinity: woodcut by M.C. Escher, "Snakes" (Default)
[personal profile] sanguinity
Who knew "just an elopement" would require this much in the way of logistics? (Everyone who is not us, I imagine.)

So very, very glad that we decided to not try for a "proper" wedding. We are so not cut out for that kind of thing. I mean, really.
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